I was not born with curly hair just thick coarse hair. My hair started to get coarser and curlier as I grew up.
When I hit 13 my hair became a massive afro which was so unmanageable, I wanted to cry every morning that I woke up. It was dried out, frizzzy and just so big!
I was into sports you see, and we practised under the hot hot sun daily.
My hair became a big frizzy mess. I did not know how to use any good hair product yet during those days, anyway my family was too poor to buy any good hair products. But I did love sports and I was not so much worried on the sun damage hair effect or my burnt skin. I turned dark dark brown and my hair was frizzy frizzy. I looked as brown and frizzy haired as a timorese during those times. Even a timorese "OM" thought me one of their own. (~__~)v
I did not hate my curly hair that much then. It was only until my hairstylist aunty started to taunt me on my afro frizzy hair and my dark brown burnt skin. Calling me "anak OM" . But I still love sports so much and continued my sports activities. My siblings joined in the taunting and all the relatives joined the chorus on my ugly afro frizzy hair. And I broke , I couldn't take all the bullying anymore and I started to hate my hair, I started to hate sports, started to hate the sun. I lost my self-confidence, my self-esteem drop down and dived underground with the earth worms. I hated my afro frizzy hair so much , I did not ever really look closely at it and to know it and the worst is I never appreciated it ever...
I grew up with everyone telling me I had the worst hair ever and the ugliest hair. I cried and cried alone because I was the only one in my family with this ugly frizzy hair, I did not know what to do with it . I just hated it and that eroded my self-esteem. Everytime I went to my aunty's saloon she will be telling me that I have the ugliest hair ever.... how I hated going to the saloon to get a hair cut and in those times I only know of my aunty's saloon. and everytime am in my aunty's saloon they will blow dry my hair and make it soooo frizzy and afro like and everyone will laugh at my hair and I just feel like crying bcoz of my ugly ugly hair. I hated myself then I hated my hair.
I will get this type of Afro Kinky Curls after blow drying...
I started to get my hair straighten everytime when I started working. Whenever am in the saloon the stylist will always tell me that my hair is super dry and needs treatment. Dang.... will I ever be out pof this misery?. I will let them but my straighten hair always looked so dried up.
There were few nice good stylist who suggested to me to let my curly hair grow naturally because they say my curls are gorgeous , I did not believe them but I did let it be natural. But when I saw the curly hair me looking back from the Mirror all my hatred and anger and sadness and humiliation from my secondary days will come back to haunt me and fast as flash I will straighten my hair again. Until.....
I just be damn what people think of me and how my hair is and I'd given up on straightening my hair fighting with it and started to let it grow curly naturally. Trying to love it and showering it with hot oils and conditioners and moisturisers and hair treatment masks. And guess what ....while my hair was growing I will actually inspect the curly hair to check where the ugliness is. I keep on asking myself what is so ugly about my curly hair? Surprisingly, all I see are the beautiful curls and I just love to see those curls...
Guess this is the best thing that happened to me this year, that is getting to know my curly hair and falling in love with my curly curly hair. But the saddest part is that I never realised how gorgeous my curls are until now. I was so deeply entrenched in the "Hate My Hair" part and remembering bullying of the adults surrounding me when I was in my teens. I learned to Let go and accept as things are. What I realised, is that I should have been stronger and stood up and accepted my gorgeous curly hair, be confident of myself and my gifts; my curly curly hair my somewhat tough body structure. Accepting me as I am.
Love yourself and accept whatever you have , be grateful and appreciate life's beautiful gifts. Each one of us are given our own unique gifts in this life. Learn to appreciate them, and teach your children, nieces, nephews and others to appreciate each uniqueness that everyone of us are gifted with.
These pics are of beautiful gorgeous naturally curly hair.
No comments:
Post a Comment