Yikes!!! What do you call this? Suddenly out of nowhere this barely known person who is a friend of a friend wants to help me to lessen my financial burden... too good to be true? you can tell me that again....
Trying to be practical here, and keeping my mind calm and steady to think things true and through and thorough... Very tempting offer I can use all the help I can get actually buttttt am not particularly comfortable on this idea. "Devil in a Sunday Hat?" - trublood.
All my mind can think of is RUN RUN RUN , a little part says TAKE IT AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE....
😜 so am going to sift on my thoughts and probably should get closer to God and pray for guidience. Can't even spell that right.. arghhhh oh its GUIDANCE .. ermmm shows how
long I did not use that word.
So am gonna meditate on this and bring myself closer to God's Will and let me forget and kick out that small tiny voice telling me to take it and run....
Oh almost complete on another Dreamcatcher... it helps me to focus and be steady.
The whole day today was googling and found some people are EMPATH and CLEIRSERTIENT and the description does sound like me. An 'AHA' moment ...Does explained my weird behaviour too. Just need stronger Physic Shielding to keep myself always alm and steady and avoid wonking my emotional state....... Okay the correct spelling is CLAIRSENTIENT... that's not even an accepted spelling here.
Wanna read more on this and will write about this on the next entry ..IF ... oh well nyte-nyte to all .
Revisiting my Innermost Thoughts in my dreams .Need to clear the negative junk and replace with positive ones..Amen
Saturday, 15 September 2012
Friday, 14 September 2012
Making Dreamcatchers.
I love to see dreamcatchers Am just so attracted to them, guess the interests started a long long time ago. When I learnt to read and I will read all the books in the local library. Until I will br asking the librarians if they had any new books? Lol , I did read all the story books in that tiny town's library. And I read on the Red Indian's dreamcatcher. There was a painting of it. But well my time there was no computer even.
I was always looking for a dreamcatcher. I did come across one or two in KL and also in KK but it didn't attract me that much. I didn't even find it in US when I was there.
So when I saw a relative of mine making dreamcatchers I got excited , contacted her then search n youtube on how to make it.
I bought from her and also
made a few more for myself. Still wanna make some more, just waiting for my materials to arrive.
I was always looking for a dreamcatcher. I did come across one or two in KL and also in KK but it didn't attract me that much. I didn't even find it in US when I was there.
So when I saw a relative of mine making dreamcatchers I got excited , contacted her then search n youtube on how to make it.
I bought from her and also
made a few more for myself. Still wanna make some more, just waiting for my materials to arrive.
Thursday, 13 September 2012
Embracing My Naturally Curly Hair
My Hair.. My curly curly hair ..
When I hit 13 my hair became a massive afro which was so unmanageable, I wanted to cry every morning that I woke up. It was dried out, frizzzy and just so big!
I was into sports you see, and we practised under the hot hot sun daily.
My hair became a big frizzy mess. I did not know how to use any good hair product yet during those days, anyway my family was too poor to buy any good hair products. But I did love sports and I was not so much worried on the sun damage hair effect or my burnt skin. I turned dark dark brown and my hair was frizzy frizzy. I looked as brown and frizzy haired as a timorese during those times. Even a timorese "OM" thought me one of their own. (~__~)v
I grew up with everyone telling me I had the worst hair ever and the ugliest hair. I cried and cried alone because I was the only one in my family with this ugly frizzy hair, I did not know what to do with it . I just hated it and that eroded my self-esteem. Everytime I went to my aunty's saloon she will be telling me that I have the ugliest hair ever.... how I hated going to the saloon to get a hair cut and in those times I only know of my aunty's saloon. and everytime am in my aunty's saloon they will blow dry my hair and make it soooo frizzy and afro like and everyone will laugh at my hair and I just feel like crying bcoz of my ugly ugly hair. I hated myself then I hated my hair.
I started to get my hair straighten everytime when I started working. Whenever am in the saloon the stylist will always tell me that my hair is super dry and needs treatment. Dang.... will I ever be out pof this misery?. I will let them but my straighten hair always looked so dried up.
There were few nice good stylist who suggested to me to let my curly hair grow naturally because they say my curls are gorgeous , I did not believe them but I did let it be natural. But when I saw the curly hair me looking back from the Mirror all my hatred and anger and sadness and humiliation from my secondary days will come back to haunt me and fast as flash I will straighten my hair again. Until.....
I just be damn what people think of me and how my hair is and I'd given up on straightening my hair fighting with it and started to let it grow curly naturally. Trying to love it and showering it with hot oils and conditioners and moisturisers and hair treatment masks. And guess what ....while my hair was growing I will actually inspect the curly hair to check where the ugliness is. I keep on asking myself what is so ugly about my curly hair? Surprisingly, all I see are the beautiful curls and I just love to see those curls...
Guess this is the best thing that happened to me this year, that is getting to know my curly hair and falling in love with my curly curly hair. But the saddest part is that I never realised how gorgeous my curls are until now. I was so deeply entrenched in the "Hate My Hair" part and remembering bullying of the adults surrounding me when I was in my teens. I learned to Let go and accept as things are. What I realised, is that I should have been stronger and stood up and accepted my gorgeous curly hair, be confident of myself and my gifts; my curly curly hair my somewhat tough body structure. Accepting me as I am.
Love yourself and accept whatever you have , be grateful and appreciate life's beautiful gifts. Each one of us are given our own unique gifts in this life. Learn to appreciate them, and teach your children, nieces, nephews and others to appreciate each uniqueness that everyone of us are gifted with.
These pics are of beautiful gorgeous naturally curly hair.
I was not born with curly hair just thick coarse hair. My hair started to get coarser and curlier as I grew up.
When I hit 13 my hair became a massive afro which was so unmanageable, I wanted to cry every morning that I woke up. It was dried out, frizzzy and just so big!
I was into sports you see, and we practised under the hot hot sun daily.
My hair became a big frizzy mess. I did not know how to use any good hair product yet during those days, anyway my family was too poor to buy any good hair products. But I did love sports and I was not so much worried on the sun damage hair effect or my burnt skin. I turned dark dark brown and my hair was frizzy frizzy. I looked as brown and frizzy haired as a timorese during those times. Even a timorese "OM" thought me one of their own. (~__~)v
I did not hate my curly hair that much then. It was only until my hairstylist aunty started to taunt me on my afro frizzy hair and my dark brown burnt skin. Calling me "anak OM" . But I still love sports so much and continued my sports activities. My siblings joined in the taunting and all the relatives joined the chorus on my ugly afro frizzy hair. And I broke , I couldn't take all the bullying anymore and I started to hate my hair, I started to hate sports, started to hate the sun. I lost my self-confidence, my self-esteem drop down and dived underground with the earth worms. I hated my afro frizzy hair so much , I did not ever really look closely at it and to know it and the worst is I never appreciated it ever...
I grew up with everyone telling me I had the worst hair ever and the ugliest hair. I cried and cried alone because I was the only one in my family with this ugly frizzy hair, I did not know what to do with it . I just hated it and that eroded my self-esteem. Everytime I went to my aunty's saloon she will be telling me that I have the ugliest hair ever.... how I hated going to the saloon to get a hair cut and in those times I only know of my aunty's saloon. and everytime am in my aunty's saloon they will blow dry my hair and make it soooo frizzy and afro like and everyone will laugh at my hair and I just feel like crying bcoz of my ugly ugly hair. I hated myself then I hated my hair.
I will get this type of Afro Kinky Curls after blow drying...
I started to get my hair straighten everytime when I started working. Whenever am in the saloon the stylist will always tell me that my hair is super dry and needs treatment. Dang.... will I ever be out pof this misery?. I will let them but my straighten hair always looked so dried up.
There were few nice good stylist who suggested to me to let my curly hair grow naturally because they say my curls are gorgeous , I did not believe them but I did let it be natural. But when I saw the curly hair me looking back from the Mirror all my hatred and anger and sadness and humiliation from my secondary days will come back to haunt me and fast as flash I will straighten my hair again. Until.....
I just be damn what people think of me and how my hair is and I'd given up on straightening my hair fighting with it and started to let it grow curly naturally. Trying to love it and showering it with hot oils and conditioners and moisturisers and hair treatment masks. And guess what ....while my hair was growing I will actually inspect the curly hair to check where the ugliness is. I keep on asking myself what is so ugly about my curly hair? Surprisingly, all I see are the beautiful curls and I just love to see those curls...
Guess this is the best thing that happened to me this year, that is getting to know my curly hair and falling in love with my curly curly hair. But the saddest part is that I never realised how gorgeous my curls are until now. I was so deeply entrenched in the "Hate My Hair" part and remembering bullying of the adults surrounding me when I was in my teens. I learned to Let go and accept as things are. What I realised, is that I should have been stronger and stood up and accepted my gorgeous curly hair, be confident of myself and my gifts; my curly curly hair my somewhat tough body structure. Accepting me as I am.
Love yourself and accept whatever you have , be grateful and appreciate life's beautiful gifts. Each one of us are given our own unique gifts in this life. Learn to appreciate them, and teach your children, nieces, nephews and others to appreciate each uniqueness that everyone of us are gifted with.
These pics are of beautiful gorgeous naturally curly hair.
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Expenses again...
Life is filled with expenses ... and there is no other way. To lead life we must pay our expenses. And to have more extra money after paying off one's expenses is the dream of every individual...... Financial Freedom.. everybody talks about it but nowhere near it.. Even the tycoons have millions in debt.... and when finally the debts catch up you are forced into bankcrupty...
Problem is when there is more extra money, the expenses increases exponentially ... where does the race end? You search for better jobs, better offers, then you have to have better things in life, nicer car, nicer house, nicer clothes , nicer entertainment ... still left with more wants... and you move on to search for a better job. Finally finding better pay, then you need to work harder to progess in that company, to get higher pay, increments and bonuses, and the wheels go round and round, the faster your run , the faster you need to run, Just like a rat in the running wheel. Around and round it goes never ending.
Probably will never end, there has to be a better way than this. Materialistic world, and no knowledge on personal financial management. Learning the hard way. How do we do it? Some say save as much as you can and stop spending. But how to balance that out? Life will be sooo miserable. The wants in life are tooo much to cope. Especially for a shophaholic ..
Problem is when there is more extra money, the expenses increases exponentially ... where does the race end? You search for better jobs, better offers, then you have to have better things in life, nicer car, nicer house, nicer clothes , nicer entertainment ... still left with more wants... and you move on to search for a better job. Finally finding better pay, then you need to work harder to progess in that company, to get higher pay, increments and bonuses, and the wheels go round and round, the faster your run , the faster you need to run, Just like a rat in the running wheel. Around and round it goes never ending.
Probably will never end, there has to be a better way than this. Materialistic world, and no knowledge on personal financial management. Learning the hard way. How do we do it? Some say save as much as you can and stop spending. But how to balance that out? Life will be sooo miserable. The wants in life are tooo much to cope. Especially for a shophaholic ..
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)